Presumably, as of this post, the United States has two major contenders running for President. One is the incumbent President, the other a former Vice President.
Both of them are Caucasian cishet men. Both of them are supposedly of the Christian faith. Both of them are septuagenarians. Both of them are alleged sexual assault offenders and rapists. Both of them have open cases against them for sex crimes.
And I’m supposed to be okay with this as my options of running my country for the next four years? Rapist A or Rapist B?
Did I mention that I’m a two-time sexual assault survivor? No? Okay, I did now.
I have no idea where the first assailant is today. I do have an idea of where the second assailant is; running the engineering department for a major radio station conglomerate in Northeast Ohio. Whether or not the second assailant still communicates with both of my own parents is irrelevant; I don’t talk to any of my abusers. But the fact that the second assailant can work and be admired for the things that they do is a slight sore spot on my spirit.
Meanwhile, I remember 2016/5777.
I remember being accused for “voting for” Donald Trump when I announced that I wrote-in Ric Flair as my choice for President in 2016. I remember the looks I got from people, all of that shade thrown at me could have formed one hella shadow army.
I didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton because of my belief that she did misuse her emails over an unclassified server. I based my belief as a former federal government employee, having worked for Defense Finance and Accounting Service, or DFAS, from 2008 to 2013. Had I done what Hillary was accused of doing with sending classified material over an unclassified server, which is known as spillage, my ass would have been wrung up and thrown in jail.
Little did I know of just how bad my country was going to suffer with Trump as president.
Do I regret my decision to not vote for Clinton in 2016? No. I felt that, as an American, I had the right to vote for who I wanted, not for someone to tell me who to vote for.
Which brings me to 2000/5761.
It was my first ever opportunity to vote for a president, at age 19. The candidates were George W. Bush, Al Gore, and Ralph Nader. I was dead set on voting for Nader. Then, I was persuaded by many friends and even some family members to vote for Gore, because “a vote for Nader is a vote for Bush.” So I ended up voting for Gore in 2000. That vote I do regret making, because it felt like I had to do something that I was forced to do. It was, in a strange way, a nonconsensual vote.
I felt so empowered when I took my vote back and voted for Flair in 2016. It was my consent, not anyone forcing to vote the way somebody else wanted me to vote.
And now, here I am in 2020/5780 (looking toward 5781), having to decide the supposed lesser of two evils. Again. Just like the country did in 2016.
Apparently we as a country have not learned our lesson in 2016 when Hillary Clinton won the Democratic nomination over Democratic-leaning Independent Bernie Sanders, Senator from Vermont. Yeah, I feel that Sanders got screwed by the Democratic National Committee back then. I feel that Sanders got screwed again by the DNC this year against the presumptive nominee, Joe Biden. The only thing different this time versus four years ago is that Sanders is calling for his supporters (to which I am one of) to back Biden, saying that “it would be irresponsible” to do otherwise, meaning a vote not for Biden is a vote for Trump.
I have to look in the mirror and ask myself: as a two-time sexual assault survivor, should I vote for an alleged rapist? Do we deserve four more years of Trump because We, the People, don’t know any better? Hell, should I even spend one red cent on the stimulus check that will be deposited into my bank account or should I see that as a way for a rapist to extort me for my silence, because of non-consent?
As of this post, right now? No.
And unless there is proof revealing that either or both Tara Reade and E. Jean Carroll are making up their allegations, I don’t see my decision changing any time soon.
So, who will my write-in vote be for?